Friday, February 06, 2009

The way we are

Is it just me? Or does everyone do this? I find that the way I talk, enunciate my words, pronounce things, the parts of my vocabulary that I exercise etc. etc. etc., all change depending on who I'm with. When I'm talking to someone who speaks good English, has a large vocabulary and can understand everything I say, I find myself exercising my vocabulary as well and speaking a certain way. When I'm with people who speak a little differently, don't pronounce things correctly etc. etc. - I speak in a way that mirrors them. It's an unconscious thing - I don't make the effort to use words in incorrect contexts, malapropisms, use grammatically incorrect English or pronounce things in totally unpardonable ways! I've decided it's because I'm too nice (or maybe it's because I'm sort of like Sybil!). I want people to feel comfortable around me and I want to take myself to whatever level they're at (no matter where that is). But lately, it's been getting a little annoying. When people start thinking you don't know any better and start correcting you all the time and adopt a supercilious attitude on top of that (it's the supercilious attitude that gets you)- then it's time they were brought down a peg or two, or cut out of your life (okay - perhaps that's being a little extreme).

Addendum: Now, is this the same as being condescending? I don't think so - it's never done with a view to putting anyone down, insulting anyone or showing that I know better than them and am deliberately doing this, it's just that I lose the ability, knowledge, whatever, whatever temporarily - like I really don't have it. I can't for the life of me talk in the same way with my aunt who mostly speaks Tamil and very little English, for example and my aunt who mostly speaks English and with whom I mostly communicate in English. If I try, it comes out all contrived and weird. And people have told me I'm anything but condescending. But if you beg to differ and read this blog and think I am, then please let me know. Now, this is only with language that this happens, not with anything else (that I am aware of), and since the people who read this blog probably all are more well-spoken than me, I guess I'm asking the wrong people.

Things that lie in the recesses of my mind....

One of my all-time favorite poems, which a friend of mine scribbled on a letter to me two decades ago - I'm not sure in what context then, but now it seems like she was prescient.


A dream deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes