On Thanksgiving - and dreams

What a great Thanksgiving. It's usually miserable if one is alone in this country during the holidays and blue at the same time. That's not a good recipe for giving thanks. But this time I chose to be alone - mostly because today is no different for me from any other day these last couple of months - almost 3, actually, since I've been back here. I guess I could have gone somewhere to avoid that - if not have flown or taken the train to somewhere where there are relatives - or driven a little bit (or taken metro - given that I had gotten rid of car when I left here - and seeing no need for one at the moment given that there's such a great public transit system here) to go be with family I have fairly locally (and possibly ruin their plans). The handful of friends that I have are all away for today and I never checked with the one or two that may not have been. I could have volunteered somewhere and did look for last minute opportunities, but decided that I really didn't feel like it (and I feel very strongly that there's no point volunteering at anything if it doesn't really come from good feelings inside - and definitely not if the only purpose is to spend your time or avoid your misery, though I guess when one has some sort of real inclination to help, then it's okay to use a distaste for being alone to someone else's advantage and volunteer then - I guess I say this because in the past I've known people who would 'volunteer' if there was something in it for them - like the chance of meeting a guy, or just to avoid being alone and other things like that - and that just doesn't appeal to me - but that's just me).

But today was great anyway. I woke up and read a little bit, then did the bathing thing and sat and meditated for a while. Then I cooked - no turkey on my plate - spoke to someone on the phone for two hours (and ate my feast at the same time) - the 3-hour time difference made sure that their lunch plans wouldn't suffer, and then I did a MAP session and drifted off to a great nap (I'll post on MAP sessions one day - I'm sure it will make for interesting reading).

I had this really weird dream just before I woke up (and I was just watching 'The Science of Dreaming' (I may have the title wrong) on NOVA the other day). It seemed to have so much symbolism and meaning. I'd climbed up the side of a building - somehow - and when I'd gotten up top, I was hanging up there, alongside a wall, with my hands gripping the top of the parapet wall that blocked off the terrace, my feet digging into some crevasses on the wall. Next to me was this person who was once a friend and she too was gripping tightly on to somewhere or something, but seemed much more nonchalant than me. I was terrified, it felt like if I shifted my weight even the slightest, I was going to fall. I had no idea how I had climbed up there and I asked her how she was planning on getting down. She just said something inane and seemed to indicate that I was stupid not to know how to get off. I figured I wasn't going to get any real or considerate answers from her. I knew that if I let go with my hands I would fall. And moving my feet any didn't seem an option. It felt like even the slightest movement of either foot would result in a slip and plunge. I just hung there wondering what to do and then suddenly, without thinking, I used every ounce of strength I had and hoisted myself up high, kicking my legs up and fell on to the terrace. And a few seconds later, the friend did the same. Once on the terrace, there were these weird people there and tables and tables piled up with chocolates (not that I'm particularly fond of those) and someone held a sign up to me that said something profound, though I couldn't recall when I woke up what exactly it had been. Someone else picked a bar of chocolate and handed it to me, their expression indicating it was some kind of reward. And then I woke up.

So I tried to analyze the dream. What did it mean? Did it mean that you didn't look for a safe way down, but gathered all your courage and pulled yourself up? Did it mean that if you did that, you'd have chocolate waiting for you :-). Did it mean you'd have a reward waiting for you? Just that it may not be what you wanted or liked? I couldn't help thinking it definitely had some meaning - you got yourself out of a rut by pulling yourself up, not down :-) - genius - I think any idiot can figure that out without a dream. I'm not sure what that friend was doing up there, other than perhaps being of no help, regardless of what she thought.

Or maybe, as one of the theories on that segment on Dreams went, it was just random noise - dreams were nothing but various parts of the brain trying to make sense of various physiological signals sent by other parts of the spine and brain, random chemicals pumped up to do some sort of house-cleaning (I don't think they said house-cleaning - I just don't recall the reason they said these signals were emitted, just that they said they had, unlike what Freud had thought, no meaning - that dreams weren't our subconscious rising to the surface, just random sparks flying around, with a brain trying to assign some meaning to them - and us mistakenly assuming that these were deep-buried fears and desires). O'h well.

To life...

Hoping it's like this:

And not like this:

The sounds of silence

It used to be, long ago, that I thought meditation was something that I, personally, just couldn't get into. It didn't help that all the people I knew who meditated seemed like people who were rather mean to begin with (till someone put things in perspective for me saying they may have been even worse if it wasn't for stuff like this). And then, over the years, everywhere you looked, people were touting the benefits of meditation. It seemed to be the panacea for all ills - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual (though the spiritual aspect I didn't really care for at the time). And the more I read about it over the years, the more I knew that this was probably most helpful thing that one could do for oneself. So, one day, in the midst of what seemed to be a period that was the nadir of my life (even though I thought I had experienced that many times before - it seemed that every successive low point seemed to be further and further below the previous one - though this one seemed to have something special about it - like I had finally hit rock bottom - and I felt that if I made it out of here, nothing would be able to shove me back in again) I decided to just sit. Making sure I had the ambiance all right - with new age music playing in the background and the scent of organic lavender wafting about), I just sat for about half an hour, listening to the music - but not intently, and not really paying attention to anything. Sure enough, as I went on with the rest of my day, I felt like I had just a little more energy and wasn't as tense as I normally was. That feeling was enough to keep me at it for the next few months. Sometimes I'd hate to have to get up, and just wanted to sit there forever. I'm sure my choice of music (Temple in the Forest - David Naegele) had something (if not everything) to do with it. And slowly but surely, over the weeks and months that followed, I felt all kinds of changes. For one, I could just not cry anymore. Nor feel down or sad. That had always been my state of being, so this was a new experience. I even deliberately tried to, just to see if I had been willing myself into that state all these years - but it just wouldn't come. Great! But then I started thinking that perhaps this was the manic side of bipolar disorder, and that that's what I'd had all my life (except that the manic side had never reared its head before) :-). But it wasn't really manic - it was just calm and peace and really a feling of everything being okay and that it would never be wrong again - so I was probably off with the diagnosis. Thus began my first real foray into meditation and things spiritual - and after that things just started happening.

Fast forward to two or three years later, back down there again. Not as far down, so at least the thought I'd had before, long ago, had been right, but still far enough down that it was keeping me from reaching my full potential (as they say). (Then the sneaky suspicion - maybe all this was deliberate, if only at a subconscious level - if I didn't feel this way, then maybe I would get to my full potential - and then feel even more down in the dumps - realizing that it wasn't really very much). Or who knows, sometimes some angst seems necessary to be able to achieve anything. But the long and the short of it was, that now that I had experienced the upside, this was not very attractive. So, in search of 'finding' myself (or 'losing' myself?) again (I had lost both the desire and the tools (my David Naegele CD was scratched to death) to meditate and only one of those things could be easily fixed) - I signed up for a 10-day Vipassana session. And since more than a couple of people wanted to know what it was like - here's the lowdown on it:

Day 0: Got there much ahead of the deadline. Turned in cellphone, passport, writing instruments etc. etc. etc. and went to rest in the room allotted. Thank you God, a room to myself. Wandered around after a bit (and strayed onto pathways meant for the other sex - but no one was around to notice, so no one to come running after me to tell me so). Then orientation and a snack and that was pretty much it for the day. Discovered that most people were here for the nth time and I was one of the newbies. A very disparate crowd - folks from villages, cities and towns. At least this wasn't one of those things that only the elite seemed to get into. Went to the room and tried to sit and meditate in preparation.

Day 1: Managed to get up when alarm went off at 4 am. Got ready and found my way to the pagoda where the group meditation was to happen. Spent the rest of the day breathing in and breathing out. Realized that the breath in the nostrils (not in throat, chest or anywhere else) is barely perceptible when one is breathing normally. Worked hard the whole day trying to feel its presence there. SN Goenkaji's charisma came through in his voice over the speakers. Other than the fact that my mind was really agitated thanks to a little conversation I'd had with someone who usually rubbed me up the wrong way (just by their being, even if they didn't do or say anything wrong), I managed to make it through the day - 10.5 hours of meditation with little breaks in between. By the time the evening lecture rolled around (on DVD), was ready to lap up whatever was said, thanks to a day of doing nothing.

Day 2: Even though I thought I'd go crazy the previous night with thoughts of my little tiff buzzing in and out of my head, I resolved to work on letting today be different and told myself I'd really get into the watching of my breath. Managed to do it all morning long. Eventually, I got good at being able to feel the breath inside my nostrils. It was a much better day.

Day 3. Halfway through the day - intent on my breath, I suddenly felt as if I was light and dissociated from my body - as if I'd dissolved actually. I thought I must be hallucinating, didn't one have to go through at least 10 days to feel like that? But it lasted for at least a few seconds, 10 or so. It was very real. I was excited - though one's not supposed to be - since the whole idea behind Vipassana of being equanimous through pleasure and pain is then defeated. But hey, I'm human and this was a big experience.

Day 4: This day (or perhaps the previous one, I don't recall), we had to sit still for hour long sessions, not moving in the least bit. Though I managed to do this - I realized exactly how many seconds went into making an hour. I realized that it's fine to sit in one position with absolutely no movement for 30 minutes and even maybe 45. But beyond that, the pain that accompanied the sitting was so excruciating that people needed to be handed medals just for achieving this little feat. After that, day in and day out, there were at least three sessions during the day when one was asked to sit still like that.

Day 5: Up until this day (methinks, memory has made a hash of all these days) - only the old students had been assigned cells in a neighboring pagoda - where one could sit in isolation during non-group-meditation hours. This was less distracting (since there were people in the main pagoda who were constantly burping loudly or sniffling and sneezing) and allowed one to focus better. It also provided lots of sensations (mostly sweat trickling down everywhere - since the cells were super hot) to concentrate on - that being the heart and soul of vipassana - working with the sensations on the body and remaining equanimous throughout. Only some of the new ones got assigned these cells - perhaps those of us who seemed serious (as determined by a monitor sitting amongst us or by the two teachers who sat up front watching us, I suppose), I speculate. I liked going into the cell and determined to do it everytime we were free to do so. One could lean against the wall - big plus - because in the first few days one really got to intimately know every inch of one's back - not in a good way. But things were beginning to get unpleasant. With my mind as agitated as it was - about my feelings about myself in general - brought on by recent spat with friend, I felt like my thoughts were screaming vehicles careening around in my brain. And there was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide - no distractions - no lighting up anything to take one's mind away etc. etc. This was not a good thing. Agitation - as mentioned in one of the evening lectures - was one of the chief enemies of the Vipassana practitioner (and here I thought I was trying to calm my mind down).

Day 6: Same old, same old.. - am able to remain equanimous (well I have been actually since the first day), through pain and more pain (and then some)... - but I have never doubted my ability to do that - just knew I didn't put it into practice.

Day 7: H'mm - finally, at 5 in the morning in my individual cell, felt something like static electricity repeatedly wash over my body. So these were the pleasant sensations they'd been talking about - talking about not getting too attached to etc. etc.. Well, they weren't that great, so I didn't see any problem here. But it was nice to finally experience something other than pain (and also find that one had the ability to remain equanimous through those as well). This technique of watching sensations over one's body intensely was really at war with the other agitation thing going on though. The days began to take on the quality of a battleground. Agitation vs. intense concentration. And the agitation seemed to be winning. I was sure I'd have to be carried out of here a blubbering mess - having turned totally insane. I really should not have come when I knew that my chief insecurity had been brought to the surface just a couple of days before the session and knowing myself should have known I would obsess about it throughout the 10 days. But I had thought it would be a test for the Vipassana - I didn't know that agitation could ruin this practice, rather than the practice help the agitation. My other way of meditation - listening to the music while pretending I was floating cross-legged alone in the middle of the Universe with a gigantic, ethereal image of the God Siva or some other God (not that I believed in any such thing - but just as the representation of a concept) floating along at a safe distance away from me was much more soothing - and actually always allayed these crazy little people in my head. This technique, I determined, was not really good for me.

Day 8-10: The evening lectures had been really nice. Entertaining (even though that was not the purpose they served apparently). After 10.5 gruelling hours of meditaiton, a little bit of walking for exercise and three light meals a day - they seemed to fill some giant void that desperately needed filling. Being locked up with only one's own mind for company which under any other circumstances I would have looked forward to was the one thing that was probably the unhealthiest for me at this time. Some of these days I just fled the cell or the hall at the end of the one or two hour sessions with tears streaming down my face (and desperately trying to hide them pretending like I had a cold or something). On many occasions I thought I was going quite mad. But I seemed to be making all the progress that they talked about - feeling this and feeling that - I felt everything at the expected times on the expected days - though they also said that that was not the measure of progress. I knew I was paying attention and concentrating (one-pointed concentration being what the Buddha advocated) to death - except that I seemed to be doing one better - two-pointed concentration. I was concentrating on my agitation and my sensations, both just as intensely - this was not a good thing. I decided that all this had happened for a reason. To show me that Vipassana was not my true path - though everyone said I was meditating like a pro (ha!) - they said that I was one of just a handful of people who sat absolutely still and never opened my eyes - what do they know about what goes on inside people's heads! Besides, if you want to practice Vipassana you're advised to give up Reiki (which does magical things for me and which I would never want to give up) - else you're not allowed to attend any more of these meditation sessions - they say it's for your safety - because people have gone insane doing both. And maybe that's what this was doing to me. Reiki I find gentler - this practice seemed to be putting me through some wringer and then leaving me worse off in the end (in this lifetime that is, regardless of what it was doing for my eternal well being). The tenth day provided some relief, when we could start talking to people - though I personally prefer to be quiet and not have dozens of people chattering away at me, it was nice to connect with a couple of people.

Day 11: A relief to leave. On reflection, it hadn't been too bad, and had I been in a calm state of mind going in, I may have felt very differently about it. But given the way it had really been, I decided this was not the thing for me (at least not for now) - I'm trying to calm myself down here, not work myself up to a tizzy and go nuts.

I think they have it backwards

If someone asked you to give them some money and told you they'd give you 10% on it every month and you

- actually believed them
- never asked them for details about how they were going to do this
- gave them the money
- went to file an FIR when you soon stopped getting anything

and I was the person in charge of registering your complaint, I would either

- laugh my head off at your stupidity
- arrest you for your greed (how did you think you were going to get returns like this and even if you had been given some cockamamie story, then go back and read the line above).

Remember:
Big legitimate rewards involve big legitimate risks - if you partake and don't get your money back, don't go crying to people about it.
A trip to your local police chowki to complain about someone who absconded with your money is warranted only when they presented you with information that at least seemed legitimate when you invested.

I can't believe all these reports in the papers of bozos parting with huge sums of money to be doubled, tripled and quadrupled in a few months and then complaining about it when they realized they'd been 'duped'.

All kinds

You get to meet all sorts of people in Rishikesh - mostly people who come for spiritual succour, but nowadays people who come for lots of other things as well.

I met a young man from California in yoga class who's been here in India for four or five years, leaving occasionally only to renew his visa. He's only in his 20s. He's getting really good at the yoga. He wants to get as good as he can at it, so that he can sit for longer and longer in meditation! He's been to four Vipassana sessions so far (10 days each) and wants to be able to go for one that lasts longer, such as 20, 40, 60 or even 90 days (if there is such a thing). I was very impressed that someone was spending years of their life in pursuit of the ability to sit in long hours for meditation, ultimately in the hopes of attaining realization and seeing the world for the illusion that it is, especially at such a young age, when most others are into making money, making or breaking careers and so on. His response was that well, once he'd attained his realization, he could just work at McDonald's (or anywhere and at anything for that matter) and still be blissful. That seemed to make a lot of sense. He was very articulate and spoke with a soft, steady tone of voice. He seemed halfway there already as far as I was concerned. He said he'd had a recent change of heart about needing to balance worldly affairs with this lofty goal of self-realization, so he was now also learning to play the flute and something about classical Indian dance!
I told him that in some book I'd read recently it said that people wouldn't get that everything was God until they got that Hitler was also God. And I asked him if he tried to see good in everyone and God in everyone and hence tried not to react to anything not so nice that they did or said. He said he didn't play games and that he was just trying to get to realization, not be taken for a sucker! (my words, not his) If Hitler (or anyone else for that matter) came and tried to beat him up or said something nasty to him, he'd be beating them up or verbally defending himself or whatever was necessary for survival. Just that he'd be watchful and observant of everything he was doing as he was doing it. Great answer! In the interest of making his money last one meal longer (he planned to stay on for another year or two or till whenever his money ran out), I asked him if he wanted me to take him out to dinner - he asked me what sort of question that was - so I re-phrased it and asked him if I might take him out to dinner. And he was thrilled to accept that invitation. So maybe I will play a minuscule part in someone's attainment of realization, even if not my own.

And then there was this woman from Israel. She'd come for the yoga originally a few years ago. But then decided to make India her second home not just for the yoga, but because it was cheap, and crammed with people and therefore (she said) it was easier to have company when one needed it. She found it convenient enough to live here for a large part of each year going back only to see the family and so on. She didn't seem too interested in the spirituality aspect of India, her main focus was in having yoga help fix her bad back. Other than that it seemed mainly about the food, which she said she loved and the fact that it was cheap to live here.

Then there were these two young women I got along well with, one from the U.S. and one from Ireland. They were both here because the Divine Life Society (the Sivananda Ashram in Rishikesh) was here and they both followed the teachings of Sivananda and were part of the ashrams in their respective countries. They seemed like grounded, together people, who seemed to have found their spiritual path but weren't abandoning the rest of their lives to pursue it (yet). They were here to soak up anything and everything they could from the birthplace of their school and the home of their Guru. Sometimes, it seemed to me like they felt more at home here than I did. And they both seemed to be loving it here and getting from this place and these surroundings exactly what they were looking for. They had a sense of openness and adventure that made every little thing seem like fun - even the occasional inconveniences were handled with aplomb, as if they were as wonderful experiences as any others. They took no offense at anything and just brushed off all kinds of things that someone like me who'd grown up here would probably get all rattled by.

And there was this gay man from Delhi - a fashion designer, no less, who actually called me honey and kept using the word fabulous. He was very cool - and very easy to get along with, and was here with two 'aunties' - a mother of a friend of his and her friend. He said he came here several times a year to recharge himself with the energy. And aunty was very cool too. She smoked ten to the dozen - in spite of my warning her that smoking wasn't really allowed here and someone may come and tell her to stop - or worse, leave. But the folks who worked at the place we stayed did see her, but it seems they didn't know how to tell her to stop and gave her a wide berth, so she just sat puffing away on the balcony all evening long. This while I was wondering how I could sneak in a cigarette in my room or somewhere else without being found out - since I'd been told when asked that it wasn't allowed - a'h, and therein lies my stupidity - I should have known, don't ask.

Thought for the day

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." - Kris Kristofferson

Rishikesh - a few insights

What to bring:

A torch - half the time there's no electricity - so it's useful.

An umbrella.

Clothes pins - unless someone nice leaves some for you -there probably won't be any around.

If you're here in the summertime or any other time it's hot, go into the market in town and get yourself a matka - a mud pot - it keeps the water cool - if you're at a place where you can fill your bottle with filtered water (at the Omkarananda Ganga Sadan they have an RO filter), you can just pour that into the pot and in a few hours you'll have really cool water - the hotter it is, the cooler your water - only costs Rs. 20!

A knife, a plate, a cup or glass, a spoon and/or fork and maybe a pair of scissors - except for the knife, you'll have to go to town to get the other things (at least if you're staying at Ram Jhula - I don't know about LaxmanJhula) - the knife can be gotten at a little store on the way to Ram Jhula the taxi stand (on your left - you can ask at any store and they'll direct you) - Rs. 40 for a quite-nice pen knife. All these things will be quite helpful when you want to make your own fruit and vegetable salads - the healthier and cheaper option.

What not to bring:

Too many clothes. If you're staying at a place where you can wash and dry your clothes (and most likely you will be - if not, you could always use the ghats on the Ganga like some people seem to be despite the signs warning against this), you can just wash clothes every day and get away with only two or three sets. If you need more clothes, you can just buy them at the hundreds of stores all over the place near the Ram Jhula taxi stand, on the other side of Ram Jhula around LaxmanJhula. They are cheap (by both Indian and Western standards), may not be the best quality - but if you're looking to travel light and don't mind spending a small amount of money you can just buy what you need here - you get everything from shorts and
t-shirts to salwar kameez and yoga



The sun rises - from my balcony.

Where to stay:
I stayed at the Omkarananda Ganga Sadan - in a really nice, clean room facing the Ganga on the 3rd floor - great views, super-clean newly redecorated bathroom, quite quiet if the bathroom door is closed (and hence not letting the terrific noise from the street side in) and your room is cleaned at request. But, by other folks accounts, this is expensive (at Rs. 395 a night, I thought it was cheap - but it depends on what you can afford I suppose), though perhaps not for the amenities. Most of them preferred to stay on the other side of the Ganga at Ram Jhula there are lots of little guest houses and ashrams. The guest houses offer rooms in the range of Rs. 200 a night (and they typically come with their own bathrooms at that price) - the ashrams are usually below that (and of course you don't have a private bathroom) - and lots of folks in yoga class were paying no more than Rs. 100 (with some paying only Rs. 50) a night at these places. Personally, I'm a little spoiled (at the moment I can afford to be), so I liked where I was, plus the yoga class was right there - but even at the Ganga Sadan, one can get a slightly cheaper room on the 2nd floor if one is willing to use a bathroom at the end of the hall (something like Rs. 250-Rs. 300). They also have a separate building with rooms and a courtyard away from the building that houses the yoga kendra, tried a room here the first couple of nights, though they're bigger and have their own bathrooms as well and a little kitchenette (so it was more like a suite) and was actually cheaper than the room I eventually moved to (which had no kitchenette) - Rs. 350 - there were lots of insects and it just wasn't that pleasant. Plus there was no balcony overlooking the Ganga, just windows. The rates were slightly higher the first 3 days - they come down when one stays longer than 3 days.

After the weekend crowds go home -
a lonely oarsman on his way home









LaxmanJhula, a 2 km walk or 5 rupee ride away, also attracts a lot of people and has lots of guest houses and ashrams. A couple of the young people I met said they stayed there because it was more 'happening'. It all depends on what you're looking for.

You could also stay in the High Bank area - where the Bhandari Swiss Cottage (and a few other hotels/guest houses are). I went there for food a couple of times. It's a nice enough area - great views, secluded and away from the noise of Ram Jhula and LaxmanJhula - but one either has to walk a bit (about 5-6 minutes uphill) from where the rickshaws heading to Laxman Jhula one off at the fork in the road, or get a 'private' rickshaw - i.e. pay for the whole thing, since most everyone except you will want to go to LaxmanJhula you use a shared one. When it gets dark and rainy, it's not the safest thing to walk up. I found that most of the people staying up here were not the 'spiritual' types - rather the bikers and t

he trekkers - at least that's the sense I got.

Another option is to stay in Rishikesh town - which one Canadian girl I met was staying in and she used a bike to get herself to yoga class everyday. One can also rent apartments on the road from Ram Jhula town, some of them within easy walking distance from Ram Jhula(cute apartments run about Rs. 10,000 a month - but can probably be shared).

Where not to stay:

In an airconditioned room - it's just not worth it - since there's no electricity half the time - and especially when you most need it - unless you're staying at a place with a generator - like the Ananda Spa and Resort (perhaps there are other places too - like Vasundhara place), but then you'd be shelling out huge amounts of money every night (like perhaps $300 instead of Rs. 300) and probably have an agent booking things for you, so you wouldn't be researching things on your own.

In a room overlooking the road on the taxi-stand side - at the Omkarananda Ganga Sadan (or anywhere else in that area) - the noise will do you in!

Recommendations (and not) - places to eat:

Next to the Ram Jhula taxi stand are 3 or 4 little holes in the wall:

Ganga Vaishnav Bhojanalaya - this is an Indian dhaba and the two kids who run it are the two hardest working people I've met in my life (I also almost nearly fell in love with the younger one, who is quiet and sweet, when he started greeting me with a hand to his heart - until I realized that this was a common way of greeting people in these parts). But this is Indian food cooked early in the mornings usually (almost always channa daal or some other daal and a potato and capsicum curry) (not to order - only the chapatis or rotis are made on demand) and is quite hot and spicy. Not the most nutritious, but it's not bad. They also make aloo paranthas for breakfast and chai. These kids work from 6am in the morning till 11 at night. And they're always there on time - though it's usually 6:30 by the time they serve their first cup of tea since they're cleaning up till then.

Shanti's Health Food cafe - run by a couple. Clean and good made-to-order food. They cook everything from scratch - soups, salads, sandwiches, pastas etc. Even the pasta is made from scratch (not dried pasta).

Mukti's Health Food cafe - Similar to Shanti's. Mukti makes the food here, his wife doesn't help out. Mickey's special is tasty - roasted potatoes with other vegetables and a sauce.

Madras Cafe - a little beyond the taxi stand. I think the prices are slightly overblown for the food. But they have a generator and so it's a great place to go when there's no electricity - and it's also a regular restaurant so there's comfortable seating. They have a good Himalayan Health porridge (or something like that) and a Himalayan Health pulav (lots of dishes are pre-fixed with the word 'Himalayan' down here) and the Chow Mein can be a cheap option when on a budget.

Flavor's (yes, that's how they spell it) - I had dinner here once. And I would have gladly skipped it. We ordered felafel there. The felafel tasted like Manchurian (it was Manchurian - though the server insisted it was felafel) and the hummus was ok, except that it was absent all the ingredients that hummus normally has, except for watery chickpea paste (no garlic, tahini or olive oil).

Sanskriti - a formidable looking 'spa' - I guess the large, expensive-looking front deters a lot of people. But the best coffee in all of Rishikesh is to be found here. At Rs. 40 a cup - the Americano or at Rs. 35, the espresso are both real coffee and really delicious. I spent twenty unhappy days in Rishikesh before someone told me about the coffee here because I couldn't get my morning fix - since most places only have chai and the places that do serve coffee (even 'filter' coffee - serve substandard versions of the real thing). I still really couldn't get it even after discovering this place since it opens only at 9:00 - but it was still better than nothing. After that, I was downing two or three cups a day here regularly. They also have good mushroom and paneer puffs.

Madras Hotel (different from Madras Cafe) - one has to take a rickshaw into town to get here. It's just before the Chandra Bagha bridge (sp?) on the left. A little place, but very clean and cheap and very good South Indian food (idlis, dosas, upma etc. etc. etc. - much better than Madras cafe for South Indian fare).

Pappu Lassi - I actually didn't visit this place, but I heard from a few people that the best lassi in town is served here - also downtown and needs a rickshaw to get to.

Gita Bhavan - on the other side of Ram Jhula (from Omkarananda) - a big, noisy place that sells sweets. I would never have walked intot his place normally, but I went in with someone who wanted to buy some sweets one day and noticed that they served kachoris and samosas there also. So I went back one day when I had a yen for those and found that they were the best kachoris and samosas I'd had in a long time (and at Rs. 4 each, a bargain) - - the samosas are served in the afternoon and the kachoris in the morning. They also sell Amul's Masti lassi and Chaach (buttermilk) here - fairly safe options (since they have a generator) when you're looking for yogurt products but want to avoid eating fresh yogurt in case you get sick (I'm sure I got sick one day from some lassi I drank at a dhaaba). If I had discovered (or rather ventured into) this place earlier, I would have bought the buttermilk everyday.

Juice Center - there's a juice center across from Gita Bhavan that makes good juices.

The Office - also on the same side of Ram Jhula as Gita Bhavan - they have good samosas here (this I was told - I actually didn't try them).

Gurudev - on the other side of Ram Jhula (from Omkarananda) - a restaurant with an extensive menu and extremely reasonable - I had a cheese and tomato crepe here one day and it was really good. The Belgian and Italian people I was with were wondering if there was an Italian in the kitchen because the sauces on the pastas they had ordered they said were on par with the best in Italy. But the next day I went back for a thaali - it was cheap - but had nothing much else going for it.

The Little Buddha - off of Laxman Jhula. They have an extensive menu - the food was ok - they couldn't make us juices when we went because there was no electricity. But there was egg in an avacado sandwich we ordered (that fact not mentioned on the menu) and the person who I was with and had ordered that was allergic to eggs. The waiter was upset with us for not having asked him if the dish contained egg - and when we asked him why we would dream of asking when the fact wasn't even hinted at on the menu, he was even more offended!

The German Bakery - this is a much touted place, but mostly frequented by foreigners - hardly any Indians here. I went here a few times and thought it was overrated. But the sizzler that the person I was with once had was apparently delicious.

The Freedom Cafe - another restaurant in the Laxman Jhula area which a lot of people raved about - a place where you can lounge around for a long time, check your mail (on your laptop with wireless broadband that you bring with you) etc. etc. It was ok - just a lot of flies. But that's a problem in lots of places in Rishikesh.

The Welcome Center - towards town from Omkarananda (but walkable - just a 15 minute walk at most). A really nice place. Very nice setting. The food is cooked from scratch (even the ghee's made from scratch) and it's really good food with the best ingredients. They have dishes cooked to ayurvedic specifications. They also serve Panna, a delicious raw mango drink which I have never had anywhere outside of people's homes.

Omkarananda Ganga Sadan - the food here is the best. Home cooked in a really clean kitchen by a wonderful woman who cooks the food as if she's cooking for her family. Lunch and dinner have to be ordered well in advance though - by 10:30 am for lunch and by 5 or so for dinner.

Other things:

The shared rickshaws only cost Rs. 5 a person (to most anywhere) and that's what you should pay whether there's one of you or ten of you in the rickshaw when you get in, unless you specially commission it for yourself (also known as 'getting a private rickshaw', in which case of course the tarriff's going to be much, much higher, because essentially you're not going to let anyone else get on. I wasn't aware of this at first, and the first couple of times I was in it with just one or two other people, I paid a lot more than the Rs. 5 - thinking it was only fair since I got to be in an almost empty rickshaw and the driver didn't inform me otherwise! - o'h well. These aren't really rickshaws (like the ones in the rest of the country) - they're more like Delhi's phat-phatis - with a noisy motorcycle engine and carry 8 people - though sometimes even 20 squeeze in.

Do check whether the place you're staying at has a water filter so that you can minimize the buying of plastic bottles. Till I found out that the place I was staying had a filter, I was buying and disposing of many bottles a day.

If you buy clothes that you need altered (like shortened, have sleeves added to, etc. etc.), just ask the person at the place you buy it whether they will do the needful (they'll usually do it for free).

You can recharge/top-up (it's called different things depending on the state you're in - but basically add money to your pre-paid cell phone or extend the validity of your SIM) at a little shop to the left of Omkarananda Ganga Sadan as you come out of it.

The yoga in Rishikesh

A month in Rishikesh - it was way too short. I wish I could have stayed another five, or ten, or more. Was there for the yoga and boy was it worth it. Usha Devi, who runs and teaches at Omkarananda Ganga Sadan, is the best yoga teacher I've ever come across, not that I've been to anything more than the casual studio in every town I've ever been in. In between taunts and smacks on peoples' behinds, softened by her smiles, she gave really great instruction. Half the class or more was made up of students who had been there in most cases many times before. The rest was made up of students who planned to come back many times in the future. I only met one person who seemed dissatisfied and discontinued the class. He was a young Israeli man who'd hurt himself with a lifetime of surfing and was hoping that she'd be able to help him, but felt that she was really doing nothing for him. Everyone else with injuries seemed to benefit greatly from the class and the modifications in various poses she introduced them to. There were people from everywhere - Australia, New Zealand, England, the U.S., Canada, Israel, Ethiopia, Spain, Italy, Belgium,Germany, France, Russia, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, Brazil, El Salvador, China etc. etc. etc. And surprise!, there was even an Indian kid who hailed from Gangotri (in the same state as Rishikesh) and who had lived in China for a few years and had just moved back to Rishikesh (he said it was different than what he thought it would be) and actually wanted to head back to China but was having trouble with job and visa, who lasted two or three days - after which I was the only person of Indian origin in the class for the remainder of the month - weird. When I bumped into him a few days later, he told me that the pace was too slow for him and he was already adept at yoga, though not this Iyengar style, and he needed a more fast-paced class. What he didn't realize was that it was a very advanced class, with her paying attention to the various little nuances that no one really did in regular classes and that made what one was practicing beneficial, or not. And since new students tended to usually show up on Mondays, the beginning of the week, she also was in the habit of starting off a little slowly and repeating the basics at the beginning of the week - but by Thursday and Friday things were in full swing and by Saturday people were ready for the Sunday break. The greatest thing about the class is that because new students keep coming in, the basics are gone over again and again. People doing things grossly incorrectly (or even slightly incorrectly sometimes) were picked on and made to demonstrate their lack of understanding, knowledge, coordination - basically everything, so that the others would understand what not to do. This is really great for everyone - even teachers and people who've been practicing for decades appreciate the 'back to basics' lessons. And the class being open to everyone - adepts as well as the most basic beginners, allows for everyone to learn - how to and how not to, and how to correct someone who is going wrong. This is unusual since in most of the serious centers in India you get grouped based on the number of years you've been practicing, who recommends you, etc. etc. etc. - So it's nice to be in a crowd where there are people of all levels. On my first day, I was thrilled when I was one of the people who got touched in the middle of some pose and then all the people who got touched were asked to come up and repeat what they had been doing. I thought, wow, I thought I was really lousy with my yoga - never giving it the seriousness it needed, practicing in fits and starts, sometimes regularly (like once a month), but infrequently, sometimes frequently, but irregularly and so on - but I must have done something right, if she was picking on me to demonstrate to the others! That's when I found out that you usually get picked on when you're going wrong everywhere! A lesson in humility!

Don't complain too much in class - unless you have injuries or something - if you complain of pain - then you'll get told that only dead bodies don't feel pain. You'll sweat a lot - because the electricity likes to go out specifically during yoga class for some reason - but Usha's response to that is that in Bikram yoga they charge you to sweat - and here it's free! Also, if you're a woman, you'll get asked if you have 'period' - everyone who has 'period' gets to go to one end so they do something different than the asanas that are not good when one is in 'period'. Sometimes you get asked that (and you're not a woman)! And sometimes you should get asked that (and you're not)! - Just jokes - hopefully!

So, in short, the yoga was great. The studio was just wonderful, with the view of the Ganga, the props and the atmosphere and the open hours of 7:30-11:30 for self-practice. Usha, as I said, is someone I will definitely go study with again - and again - I really wish that I had found her long before March when I did and had gone to Rishikesh soon after I came to India, rather than just the month before she's due to go to BKS Iyengar's shala in Pune for her annual yoga studies. I was told that this was pretty serious yoga, as far as the postures go, and that no other class in Rishikesh came close. An Austrian lady I met and became friends with, who had studied with Gita Iyengar and worked with BKS Iyengar himself, who was a yoga teacher herself, but who unfortunately has been suffering from emphysema for the last couple of years also recommended Trika yoga, which she said was much more gentle and do-able for her in her current condition. She also recommended Yoga Niketan, which is an ashram with a two-week minimum stay that has yoga classes twice a day, apart from meditation and other aspects of ashram life, where per her, the yoga is taught quite well. I met several people who went to the Sivananda yoga classes as well, though what they offer is a little different and more sedate. One girl I met from Canada who was a teacher certified by the Sivananda ashrams (or institutes?) in Canada, said that after studying with teachers like Usha she would not recommend the Sivananda course to anyone. But each person and what they're looking for is different and I'm sure that what they teach also has merit, even if it doesn't pay rigorous attention to form in the asanas and so on.

Sikkim anecdotes..

I was telling my cousin Ajay that I probably couldn't come to Lake Tsongmo with him and my parents because as a foreigner (U.S. passport holder, that is), I needed to have another foreigner with me to go - some funny Sikkim and Indian government rule. We were conjecturing why this might be and I told him what a friend of mine had relayed to me. She'd visited Sikkim a few years ago and had told me that their guide had told them that cannibalism was still alive in remote areas of Sikkim, which is one of the reasons for various funny rules and permits that they had. I told him that the government probably didn't care if a few Indians were consumed here and there, there being so many of them, but the foreigners needed to be safe and hence travel at least in pairs. He thought that was very funny. (The real reason for this particular restriction is that Tsongmo is a sensitive military base (almost at the Chinese border) and foreigners have been known to wander off on their own (the average foreigner being much more adventerous than the average Indian) and get lost in the past, during times of day when the area is closed to tourists).

Just before our day trip to the Pemyangtse monastery, I mentioned Guru Rinpoche to Ajay and he said 'O'h - now I see what that Havells ad means'. Apparently there was a TV advertisement in India for a Havells light bulb in which all these people keep prostrating before this young oriental boy who has a halo of light surrounding his head, chanting 'Rinpoooooche, Rinpooooche..'. The boy, wondering what everyone is up to, gets up and joins the crowd to do the same. Only when he does that do they see that the halo wasn't some divine light, but the light from a Havells bulb positioned far behind the boy's head. I thought that was cute.

Incidentally, Ajay came first in all of Maharashtra in the state high school board exams a couple of years ago, in spite of the fact that he has 20% of normal vision, and is now in the final year of his degree studying economics and statistics at Xaviers in Bombay. He's contemplating going to the London School of Economics next. Even though we were all sent the newspaper clippings and so on at the time, one forgets about these things. We shouldn't though, we should let it be an inspiration.

Land of Enchatment - Part 2

Ajay, Dad and Bikas - flanked by the Kanchenjunga range








Mt. Narsing resort













Shangri La (Mt. Narsing resort)






Rustic quarters - Mt. Narsing resort







Sudha and Kanchenjunga








Mount Kanchenjunga (methinks)











A couple of leeches had their fill









The Teesta River













Yak ride? (Tsongmo Lake)









Sudha at Tsongmo








Gangtok






Tsongmo - in all its glory (12400 feet approx)






Last but not least -
tea pickers - Darjeeling

India's own Land of Enchantment - Sikkim

Our retreat - perched on the edge (in Darjeeling - not in Sikkim yet)





Man at prayer - in Darjeeling











Outside the Ghoom Monastery - just outside Darjeeling
(Yours truly, mom, cousin and two handsome monks)










Bikas, our driver and guide, mom and cousin Ajay - outside prayer wheel at Pemyangtse Monastery - Pelling, Sikkim











Pemyangtse in full view










Ajay in meditation in front of pretty Thangka - in resort (Pelling)












Completely forgot my previous trip to the Himalayas and have been thinking that
the Blue Ridge mountains looked just as high.











Sikkim schoolboy Ashish (even 3-year olds walk miles to school on mountains' edges) with dad - on steps of roadside home.

Heidi kept coming to mind.







Dubdi monastery - built in the late 17th-early 18th centuries
(Yuksam)









Dubdi - checking for leeches













Making way on mountain roads

Nostalgia

The Diamond Cutter

Nothing Rhymed

A way to end

First breakups and soppy love songs

One of my later favorites

Planet of the Apes

My favorite sci-fi movie (yes, I am getting up there)






Can you spot my simian friend in my parents' garden?






On the fence

Thought for the day

The road to hell is paved with good intentions


And a couple of great interpretations of the meaning of this proverb.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/82392
from AntigoneRising and StableBoy.

Illusions

I tried googling Mrs. Susan George recently and found her. She teaches in a school in Delhi - or is headmistress or principal there. I knew it was her and not someone with the same name because the picture was of her. I wanted to see if I could get in touch with her. To thank her. For having picked out Richard Bach's Illusions to give as a prize to the person who won the high-school elocution contest one year at IPCL school. It has always been one of my very favorite books - and my introduction to New Age. And for being such a great teacher - the only good one I had at that school and one of the best I'd ever had. And she was the only teacher I thought (rightly so) that I would miss when I moved on to my next school. But there was no contact email. I'm sure I can find a number for the school if I really want to and get in touch with her. But that would be weird. So, here's the alternative. Maybe she'll do an ego search and find herself here, on this page, and then she'll know.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." - from Illusions.

Street Scenes

Trust and a hand stuck out is all it takes to make it across the road.







They must be dressed snappily under there!













"Customers are kings and queens.
They never bargains." :-))




Miracles will get you there











Room for one more?

The way we are

Is it just me? Or does everyone do this? I find that the way I talk, enunciate my words, pronounce things, the parts of my vocabulary that I exercise etc. etc. etc., all change depending on who I'm with. When I'm talking to someone who speaks good English, has a large vocabulary and can understand everything I say, I find myself exercising my vocabulary as well and speaking a certain way. When I'm with people who speak a little differently, don't pronounce things correctly etc. etc. - I speak in a way that mirrors them. It's an unconscious thing - I don't make the effort to use words in incorrect contexts, malapropisms, use grammatically incorrect English or pronounce things in totally unpardonable ways! I've decided it's because I'm too nice (or maybe it's because I'm sort of like Sybil!). I want people to feel comfortable around me and I want to take myself to whatever level they're at (no matter where that is). But lately, it's been getting a little annoying. When people start thinking you don't know any better and start correcting you all the time and adopt a supercilious attitude on top of that (it's the supercilious attitude that gets you)- then it's time they were brought down a peg or two, or cut out of your life (okay - perhaps that's being a little extreme).

Addendum: Now, is this the same as being condescending? I don't think so - it's never done with a view to putting anyone down, insulting anyone or showing that I know better than them and am deliberately doing this, it's just that I lose the ability, knowledge, whatever, whatever temporarily - like I really don't have it. I can't for the life of me talk in the same way with my aunt who mostly speaks Tamil and very little English, for example and my aunt who mostly speaks English and with whom I mostly communicate in English. If I try, it comes out all contrived and weird. And people have told me I'm anything but condescending. But if you beg to differ and read this blog and think I am, then please let me know. Now, this is only with language that this happens, not with anything else (that I am aware of), and since the people who read this blog probably all are more well-spoken than me, I guess I'm asking the wrong people.

Things that lie in the recesses of my mind....

One of my all-time favorite poems, which a friend of mine scribbled on a letter to me two decades ago - I'm not sure in what context then, but now it seems like she was prescient.

A dream deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes