Backwards and Forward

Kokila (the maid) told me that she does not accept the gently used cotton saris my mother has offered her, not because she does not like them, but because she wears only synthetic saris. When I asked her why, since the cotton ones are so pretty, she said that it’s hard to pull the pallav (or the part of the sari that’s left hanging over the shoulder) of a cotton sari over her head and face when in the presence of her father-in-law, brother-in-law or other ‘elders’ in her home – since it is so thick. The Hindi phrase she used for this act translates to something like ‘removing her shame’ or ‘taking out her shame’. As usual, these things always amaze me, that people in this day and age live like it was a hundred years ago (or at least 50 years ago). When I asked her if she did not know that this was the year 2008 and why people still clung to customs such as this, she said that that is just the way things are and there is nothing one can do about it (though my mother assured me that her father-in-law was a really nice man and would probably never object if she did not ‘remove her shame’). I continued talking to her saying things that I hoped would emancipate her (though it is totally none of my business) while thinking that for myself, perhaps it would not really be a bad idea to go even further and acquire a burqa (one of those long garments, usually black, though people are lightening up on the color these days, that you wear to cover your body and your head – with only an opening for the face or slits for the eyes) to wear when using public transport. It would be so freeing! I could wear whatever I want to and ‘take my shame out’ along with myself without having to worry about being groped or stared at!